It's 'Take It Up The _______, Thursday!' AMAZING CRAB CAKES!

Late last night I found out the major TV network known for airing the biggest cooking shows in the world passed on my show idea and me as the talent.

I know why they passed. My promo wasn't fast enough. It wasn't ME enough. How to get them to realize I am that true undiscovered talent they will kick themselves if they don't do SOMETHING with me.

I. Am. Meant. To. Be. On TV.

Like BORN to be on TV.

I think it's the gay thing, maybe, and the fact they are very G-rated. My charm is I bake pies on the weekends, always am polite in public, do the right moral thing and am consumed with the idea of kindness but then I also like to talk like a white-trash sailor about sex and relationships.

And who can wear a pair of Prada heels like no one.

I will say this - there is one woman I met there, (I'll call her G. K.) who was so sweet and lovely and charming...she was like the perfect gal pal and business woman I'd work with and who would watch the show.

She made the process so delightful. Thanks darling G. K.

Onward. Onward, onward, onward.

Let's set the mood, shall we?

Watch...



I decided on a recent trip to up my efforts to get people to read my blog. I've been relying on others to help get my TV project off the ground and that's been a mistake. I mean, it's a nice idea, others helping you with a creative career, but I find it's really up to me to be a One Man Band...once again.

I gorged on the most popular food bloggers. And after just a few days, I started to feel like I had taken way too much Immodium. I felt there was no way I could compete with them.

There were reams upon reams of arguments about the lack of culinary taste and education bloggers have; pages upon pages of bloggers saying how blasphemous and infuriating it is regular Joe's and Jane's think they have the audacity to write about food without having studied in Europe or at LEAST Le Cordon Bleu in the states.

Then I heard a voice. A tiny little bearded voice named Sean.

No, it wasn't my therapist.

Come with me to 1997. NYU. School of snotty, over-entitled girls with Prada bags and white yuppy boys who are dumb as a post.

My teacher had finished reading a story of mine and proceeded to tear it to shreds. He said I didn't get this voice, I didn't get that voice, I didn't know how to say this, how to say that -- on and on he went, quoting Faulkner, Hemingway, Tolstoy, saying I needed to know all of that work before I could possibly try to write.

He told me I wasn't a writer and that I should quit writing. Now.

He said only a very precious few are born writers - the rest of us are squatting in their Kingdom of Creativity and we need get out. He said Ed Albee agreed with him. He said a whole slew of famous writers agreed with him.

I wanted to die.

Out of the back of the class came the voice of Sean, one of my fellow students. He looked right at the teacher and said, "Who the fuck died and made you the God of the writing world? I mean, really man. Who the FUCK?"

God bless tiny, hairy and cute straight boy Sean - he was right. Everyone has right to do anything they want if they feel it is something they must do.

If you feel you must write, write.

If you feel you must dance, dance.

If you feel you must cook, cook.

You may not, in the end, be Barishnikov or Hemingway or Pepin, but don't let anyone tell you to stop because, in their view, you are not 'born' to do it or because you are not doing it the right way.

Fuck 'em.

Remember...that tells you more about their insecurities than yours. Trust me.

Which is why I am not stopping on this blog or with this project.

Is The Food Therapist a variety show? A cooking show? A show with a musical number at the beginning? Is it three shows in one?

Yes. It's all of them. Deal.

Born cooks, writers and dancers indeed.

Who DID make you God?

Onward!

Now, why is Thursday called "Take It Up The ______, Thursday?" Because I want to be an equal opportunity gay blogger. Wherever you DO take it 'up', this is your foodie day!

All meals on Thursday will be about sex and romance.

See...I love everyone for who they are.

This first 'ketchup' first recipe is from the amazing Jacques Pepin.

The second 'ketchup' recipe will be for tomorrow's special Friday Take-Out Edition.

He wrote a great book a few years back, Fast Food My Way, and it's a dream. I'm sure the snobby food bloggers are yawning over this, but I ain't writing for you, honey! I'm writing for you home cooks who are looking for something a bit off of the beaten path.

He wrote a follow-up to this book I'm not a crazy about. This first edition is the real deal.

One of my favorite recipes is his Zesty Crab Cakes. They are sublime. I made a few tweaks and moved a few things around, but it's 70% Jacques so I can't claim it. Some of Jacques recipes are a bit more difficult than they appear because he's so damn good at what he does he forgets most home cooks are not as good with cutting or assembling as he is.

But I can't fault the man. He is so generous in his TV shows and has been an inspiration to so many cooks for so many years, I adore him, I just adore him.

Try this meal with a nice side salad of mesculin greens and fresh croutons with olive oil and fig balsamic vinegar and you simply cannot go wrong! Better yet, this pairs well with a variety of tomatoes and vinegar. You don't need much more than that.

Well, I wouldn't turn down torn pieces of a baguette but that's simply ME, darling.

And this meal is a great one for "Take It Up The ________, Thursday!" Sure, it's fish, but it's light, very tasty, not heavy and won't make you feel bloated either during of after, well - you get the idea, girl.

ZESTY CRAB CAKES
w/ ZESTY RED SAUCE!

Let's cook!

Total cooking time: 20 minutes

Serving size: 4

INGREDIENTS:

• 8 ounces crab meat
• 1 and 1/2 cup bread crumbs DIVIDED
• 3 large scallions, minced
• 3 teaspoons garlic, chopped or pressed through a garlic press
• 3 tablespoons low-fat mayonnaise
• 1-3 teaspoons Tabasco sauce

• 1/3 cup sliced almonds, chopped
• 2 tablespoons peanut or canola oil

• 2 egg whites

On crabmeat. Varies widely. Your handy-dandy guide:

Lump or Lump Crab Meat

Jumbo Lump comes from the pair of large muscles that drive the crab's swimming legs. Grades identified simply as Lump are from smaller crab varieties. Use Jumbo Lump when you want to display beautiful white meat...that's right, I wrote 'display white beautiful white meat.'

I need a drink.

Jumbo Lump Crab Meat

This a lovely type for crab cakes, if you can find it and afford it. Girls in the ghetto will have a problem affording this one.

Lump or Backfin Lump Crab Meat

Lump or Backfin is the preferred grade for many traditional crab dishes. It has the same fine flavor and texture of Jumbo Lump, but is in slightly smaller pieces. It has the same caloric value as Jumbo Lump. Some companies call this grade Lump, some Backfin, and some Backfin Lump. The reason is that many packers include a large percentage of White Crab Meat (body meat—see below) in cans labeled Backfin. If you purchase a can labeled Lump, it will be all lump meat—just not Jumbo Lump.

White Crab Meat

Canned white crab meat is popular and good for crab cakes

Let's cook!

• Mix the first six ingredients together LIGHTLY (use only 1 cup of breadcrumbs).

• Don't manhandle the crab. Be gentle you big brute.

• Crush the remaining breadcrumbs with the almonds. The yuppie method is to use a food processor. My white trash way is to put the crumbs and almonds in a plastic bag and smashing it with the edge of a frying pan. Laugh, but it works bitch.

• Form the crab mixture into 4 patties.

• Mix up the egg whites in a separate bowl.

• Gently dip the crab cakes into the egg, then dip into the crumb/almond mixture until it is coated on all sides. You have to be patient and press.

• Heat the oil in a nonstick skillet over medium heat and arrange the patties next to one another in the pan, handling them very gently because they are very, very soft.

• Cook for about 3 minutes on each side. Keep warm in the oven.

SAUCE:

• Mix 1/3 cup mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons ketchup, 1 teaspoon wasabi paste or wasabi powder, 2 teaspoons fresh lime juice, and 1 tablespoon water.

• Don't skip the wasabi paste. That is the trick. I have been using wasabi paste for along time and I love it.

I normally double the sauce for the crab cakes, as this tends to be a slight amount for the meal.

And after this recipe, you know what you'll be singing?

WHAT THE F*** WEDNESDAY - The wonders of ketchup and childhood!

American's will eat garbage provided
you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.

Arthur Miller

-----------------------------------------------------------

Before I get into the wisdom and American obsession with the condiment ketchup, may I point out today is Wednesday.

Hump Day.

Horrid mid-week day.

What I crassly call What The F*** Wednesday. Every Wednesday is a gamble and on this blog, anything goes on Wednesday.

In the immortal words of the classic Risky Business (which played a huge role in my youth), these are words to cherish:



Whatever gets you through the day is all good! And clearly one of the things that got many of us through childhood was ketchup.

But before we go there, let's have a little Xanadu for our morning, shall we?



There. Wasn't that fun?

Okay...KETCHUP!

35.8 million tons of ketchup were consumed worldwide in 2008. That's a lot of ketchup. We are obsessed with it. The most popular by far is Heinz.

Despite the plethora of mustard's and mayonnaise and other condiments on the market, there are none which surpass Heinz and there has never been. Malcolm Gladwell wrote a great article in 2004 on the conundrum.

If you have the interest, the article is worth the time to read:

http://www.gladwell.com/2004/2004_09_06_a_ketchup.html

When I began reading about ketchup I had no idea the reams upon reams of scholarly research there was on the subject.

I mean, why?

Why so much time and effort to dissect the reason why so many people have devoted so much time, effort and money to only one brand of ketchup.

I figured it had to be money. Why else? It's a billion dollar industry Heinz has cornered. I've always been perplexed by the national obsession with ketchup. So I did a bit of reading.

It all comes down to 'umami.'

There are five known fundamental tastes in the human palate: salty, sweet, sour, bitter, and umami. Umami is the proteiny, full-bodied taste of chicken soup, or cured meat, or fish stock, or aged cheese, or soy sauce, or mushrooms, or seaweed, or cooked tomato, like the cooked tomato which Heinz perfected with their thick and rich tomato ketchup product.

On Monday I wrote about the nice gay couple in Florida I met. One of them had memories of ketchup and breakfast and since then always has to have breakfast with loads of ketchup in an effort to psychologically squash his dark childhood.

The other one told me developmentally our tastes stop at age 3 or so. I thought that was a bit absurd.

Seems he may have had a point.

Gladwell wrote in his article the truth little kids are neophobie. By age 3, they shy away from new tastes.

He wrote, "that makes sense since throughout much of human history that is the age at which children would have first begun to gather and forage for themselves, and those who strayed from what was known and trusted would never have survived. There the three-year-old was, confronted with something strange on his plate—tuna fish, perhaps, or Brussels sprouts—and he wanted to alter his food in some way that made the unfamiliar familiar. He wanted to subdue the contents of his plate. And so he turned to ketchup, because, alone among the condiments on the table, ketchup could deliver sweet and sour and salty and bitter and umami, all at once. "

Ascribe it to the sensation and taste of umami or to the memories of childhood, but ketchup is, like soy sauce and tomatoes and cheese rinds and cooking stock an elemental and basic component to all foods which many home cooks dismiss but shouldn't.

There is a deep pathological and psychological pull to and with these foods which both remind us of our childhood and fulfill out taste buds with a sensation few other foods can.

Tomorrow, I'm going to detail two fantastic recipes using ketchup as either a binder or a star condiment.

Heinz ketchup isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Neither are memories of your childhood.

Time to embrace both.

Mikey Bryan Your Food Therapist

TRANNY-DIP TUESDAYS: First - Dance! Then - AMAZING CHICKEN POT PIE!

Welcome to Tranny-Dip Tuesday's!

I know I am always one to dip down into the slums on Tuesday. It's only Tuesday...you still have four days of a regular job to wade through...the gym sucked, you co-workers are needy and you have to cook tonight.

DON'T TRANNY-DIP. Let's start the day off with a bang.

WATCH THIS:



There! Don't you feel a little better.

Okay - yesterday I wrote about people and their childhood memories. I can always get depressed when I compare myself to my mother. I loved her but she was a major psychological mess.

But one thing we did do together well was make CHICKEN POT PIE!

Come with me...
A few years ago, she passed. She and I were always at odds with each other, but if there was one thing we had in common, it was our unfailing sense of humor and ability to see the irony in life.

In the end, she gave into the darker side of her own private demons, but a few months before she passed away, she called me in New York (she lived in Boise, Idaho at the time, in a smallish trailer park - yea, honey, I'm white trash raised) and asked me if I remembered when she and I used to make her famous Chicken Pot Pie together.

I told her I did. I told her I remembered them as the best times we had together. I also told her how big our asses got after we ate it. She dismissed me on the phone and asked me, “Yea, yea, but didn’t it taste great?” and I replied, “It sure as hell did.”

My mother was a difficult woman but the days we spent in the kitchen making her famous Chicken Pot Pie are some of the best days I can remember. And since it's getting colder in the country it's time to reinvent this famous pie.

She was an intelligent and compassionate woman who was also a skilled homemaker and, in the last third of her life, a nursing student who worked in the field as an RN for several doctors in the Seattle area.

As I write this I can see her weathered and gentle hands as she would roll out the dough for the pie and stir the pot with the filling. Today, I still make her Chicken Pot Pie recipe but I’ve lightened it up. Let’s be honest. Chicken Pot Pie is never a light meal. But over the years I’ve experimented and learned to lighten it up.

The classic Chicken Pot Pie recipe is made with heavy cream and loads of butter so you have a thick, creamy sauce to nestle the tender chicken, taste onions and peas and carrots inside. Add to it a homemade buttery crust and you are in heaven! Yum!

But all that butter and cream makes you fat and clogs your arteries so how to make this a tasty treat and not kill yourself in the process?The following is my mother’s recipe and my own recipes. Because I make it thinking of the best times we ever had, it always tastes homey and comforting without all the fat and calories.

Here is the famous recipe for

MAMA BRYAN'S *LIGHTER* CHICKEN POT PIE!

Ingredients:

☺ 2 bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts (don’t fight me here…you shred the meat later but you need the bone and the skin so the meat is tender).
☺ Salt* and pepper to taste
☺ 4 medium carrots, sliced ¼ thin
☺ 1 large onion, chopped fine
☺ ½ teaspoon dried thyme leaves
☺ ¼ cup all-purpose flour
☺ 2 ½ cups 1% low-fat milk
☺ ½ package baby frozen peas, thawed (10 ounce box)
☺ ½ package of frozen corn, thawed (10 ounce box)
☺ 1 lemon, halved and juice squeezed
☺ 6 phyllo sheets or 1 sheet of Pillsbury Pie Crust
 
Let’s cook!

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees (is your oven unpredictable? Then you must get an oven thermometer. These two are cheap and very reliable: Taylor Classic Oven Guide Thermometer @ Model # 5921 at $14.95 and Component Design Magnet Mounted Thermometer Model MTOI @ $6.99 – both are available at Amazon.com…beware though – you cannot wipe the front of the Taylor thermometer after it’s dirty or you will wipe off the #’s.)

2. Put your chicken on a rimmed baking sheet (no need to oil) and salt and pepper them well. Roast them until a thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the breast (watch out for the bone!) reads 160 degrees**, which will take 25-30 minutes.

3. When the chicken is cool, take off the skin and gently shred the skin into bite-size pieces. If it’s too hot, you can always use two forks to pull apart the flesh (flesh…so gross). Set all that flesh aside. Ew, ew and ew.

4. About ten minutes into the chicken roasting, heat two tablespoons oil in a 10 inch saucepan, season with a dash of salt and pepper and cook on medium heat until carrots are crisp-tender, around 8 minutes (please don’t omit the salt at this point…adding a pinch of salt to onion helps to draw out moisture and resulting in the onions cooking evenly and not burning).

5. Add flour and cook, 1 minute, mixing constantly.

6. Gradually add milk (gradually add…do not rush this or you will ruin the dish) and cook – the mixture will go from a thick paste to a slightly thick cream sauce. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture thickens, about 10 minutes or so.

7. Remove the mixture from the stove, stir in your peas, corn, lemon juice and chicken. Pour the filling gently into a 9-inch pie pan***.

8. Now you have one of two choices – if you want to go ‘healthy’ and less fat, use the phyllo dough. If you want to go traditional, then use pie crust on the top.

9. For the phyllo dough: this will sound confusing, but it’s really not. Phyllo comes in stacks of pieces. Phyllo dough is paper-thin sheets of raw, unleavened flour dough. Cut out an 11-inch circle from the stack; working with 2 pieces of phyllo at a time, gently brush them with oil and place phyllo over the pie (watching so you are 2 inches from the edge of the pie plate). When you have the stack over the pie press down gently until it fits inside of the rim. Bake 20-25 minutes and you are golden!

10. For the pie crush, simply unroll the Pillsbury dough, place gently over the pie and gently crimp along the sides. Cut two four inch slits in the top of the crush. In a small, separate bowl mix an egg yolk and 2 tablespoons of heavy cream. Gently brush this over the pie crust (making sure it doesn’t pool in the corners), and bake for 20-25 minutes until its bubbly.
Enjoy!

CHICKEN POT PIE WISDOM

*SALT: The skinny on salt is for most receipts Morton’s table salt is just fine. I tend to prefer the meatier taste of kosher salt but any salt will ultimately do. The TRICK is to always err on the side of LESS salt and taste as you cook.

** I learned a valuable lesson years ago from Chef Jacques Pepin when cooking meat. In America, we love to cook meat to the point where it almost dries up and flies away. The cooking of meat (especially chicken) is a true art. You always want to cook chicken to the point where it just turns white…and that point is right when it hits 160 degrees not 165 as most recipes books will tell you.

This means you need to get used to using a good, reliable instant-read thermometer or live with cutting the damn thing open and seeing if it’s still pink or not.

When you cook chicken to 160 degrees, take it out of the oven and let it sit on the counter. As it sits on the counter it continues to cook and will reach 165 degrees slowly and thus result in a moist, tender chicken breast. Nothing worse than dry chicken. *gag*.

*** Martha Stewart and Pyrex make great, cheap glass pie plates which are perfect for this. Around $8. Martha has a nice line of green ones at K-mart we like a lot. I have ten of them!

Kisses to you on a Tuesday! Remember...don't Tranny-Dip!

Celebrate your life and make Mama Bryan's Chicken Pot Pie tonight!

xo

Mikey Bryan Your Food Therapist

MANIC MONDAY: Glories of Fort Lauderdale...

Ahhh...Florida.

Look at these two gals. I found them in the produce aisle of the Whole Foods in Fort Lauderdale (which is FAB, just FAB). We had a ball helping a hunky gaggle of gays choose produce to take back to their B&B before a night of drinking and dancing.

I jest (kinda).

I just came back from Fort Lauderdale where the weather is fabulous and the people are so damn nice. What was especially nice was spending time with my wonderful partner and our friends. You realize how blessed you are in this life to have people who love you for who you truly are. But as I always say - they can only love you if you love yourself.

Truly, they read my blog so I have to tell each one of them, I adore you beyond all reason Joe, Greg, Will and Andy. You are truly the best gal pals a gay guy could ever have.

And my partner, Andy, is the biggest blessing in my life. You are everything to me.

Now...onto the FOOD.

Being the big gay man that I am (big in waist, heart and personality), I am always on the hunt for food in Fort Lauderdale. For breakfast, the place to go is a fabulous, down-to-earth joint Egg and You. Big plates of tasty and fluffy pancakes, truly light omelette's and amazing eggs. Wonderful and real food for those who MUST have a tasty breakfast.

Egg and You is @ 2621 N Federal Hwy in Fort Lauderdale and their telephone is (954) 564-2045‎.

Egg and You do serve burgers, but for a burger everyone in Wilton Manors knows the place to go is Rosie's. Dear Lord. Have a margarita and a burger there you'll never want to leave. Even for those of you who are worried about your waistlines, you can relax - this is the kind of place where a burger in the early afternoon will hold you ALL day long. The wine and beer list is shockingly extensive and and the burgers...well...as I said before, unreal.

They have two star burgers: Rancho Burger and Rodeo Burger. The Rancho is very simple - sharp Wisconsin cheddar, crispy bacon and BBQ...I had this one day and added sauteed onions and it was great. The Rodeo is a very nice, subtle blue cheese and crispy bacon burger.

The fries are nice, but their potato salad is very fresh and tangy.

The rest of the food is very standard fair. I tried a taste of the crab cakes and they were so-s0...the chicken burger is bland and the salads uninspired. This is the place for burgers, plain and simple.

Rosie's is @ 2449 Wilton drive in the Wilton Manors section of Fort Lauderdale and their # is 954-563-0123.

One of the biggest surprises to me was the Thai food in Fort Lauderdale.

Now, I'm not a New York City snob. I'm not one of those who thinks Florida is a wasteland of nothing but strip malls and vapid culture. I mean, sure, some in Florida are a bit uneducated and could benefit from a visit to the orthodontist, but we can't all be rocket scientists.

One thing they do have is GREAT Thai food.

The first is where all the snobby residents go - it's called Galanga and it's pretty damn good but it's not THAT good.

On the other side of the street is a very simple and less elegant but good Thai restaurant called Tasty Thai. Tasty Thai lacks ambiance but the noodles and meat dishes were fresh and bright, and very inexpensive.

Galanga is at 2389 Wilton Drive in Wilton Manors and their # is 954.202.0000.

Tasty Thai is at 2254 Wilton Drive in Wilton Manors and their # is 954.396.3177

And despite my New York snobbery over pizza, the local pizza joint, Humpy's was very good. I had a sliced meatball slice that was spicy and had just the right amount of red sauce on it.

My friends had the spicy sausage and the white pie which was very tasty. Of course, Humpy's may be good but their crust lacked an authentic NYC bite to it, but it does the job if you have a hankering for pizza.

Gosh, wonder if they cater to The Gays.

Whenever I meet people the conversation inevitably goes to my feverish search for a home for my cooking show. It was no different in Fort Lauderdale.

After they all assured me I'd be a TV star soon, very soon, they would then spill all their food stories.

The most interesting one was from a sweet New England couple who told me one of the two always had to have a big breakfast with ketchup on just about everything. Apparently, the person who was ketchup happy was so because eating it reminded him of happier times.

He has, like all of us, a dark shadow to his childhood. He never knew his father. Still doesn't. The reasons why he doesn't is much too personal for me to write about them on a public blog, but suffice to say it's a mind fuck.

But one of the memories he does have during his childhood is when his mother would make him breakfast and he'd have ketchup over everything. Like...everything. So everyday he likes to have a big breakfast with (you guessed it) ketchup.

His partner (a very sweet man who reminds me of my husband in 20 years) said he read once we develop all of our food desires by the age of 3. After that, our cognitive process halts. Sure, we continue to learn, but by 3 our deepest food desires are hardwired.

He said he felt the show needs to be more about a focus on childhood. I agree. So I am going to add the idea of our needing to examine our childhood experiences with food to our relationship to food. The idea isn't really new as my entire show is about people and relationships, but it did dare me to everyone to ask themselves:

What are your earliest
childhood food memories?

Tell me...I'd love to hear...



Mikey Bryan Your Food Therapist

Rage and The Biggest Loser

Some very interesting news the other day regarding Jillian Michaels and the juggernaut which is known as The Biggest Loser. Seems Ms. Michaels is going to have a new show called Losing It With Jullian.

She will follow families in their homes and help change their diet and exercise habits.

Reveille and Empowered Media are producing. Giants in reality TV.

NBC has ordered eight segments of the series. Major money.

In the press release, this is what Ms. Michaels had to say about the show: "I hear all the time from people about 'Oh, it'd be so easy to do if I was on the ranch, if I had a personal gym. I got sick of hearing it. So we're telling people, we'll come to you and teach you how to be healthy."

The idea is each week she will work with a different family to help them make changes in their diet and exercise plans (or create ones, if there is a lack of).

Michaels is serving as executive producer (means she's one the big bosses), along with some of Oprah's team.

Joining Michaels will be the sweet and pretty (yet oddly uninteresting) chef Curtis Stone. Cutie Curtis will help guests make healthy meals and teach them how to cook healthier.

I love the idea. I do. I think a show about helping people become healthier is only a good thing. But I can't say I'm a total fan of Jillian's style of empowering.

It's odd -- she clearly knows people. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a degree in social work or if she's had some sort of training outside of her abrasive TV persona or been in therapy or read books on therapy...she's knows the deeper stuff of what makes people tick. She's smart, aware.

But she can be a bitch, can't she?

Nice rage issues for a show that featured Long Island-based physical trainer Anthony Badalamenti. Remember Sweet Tony? He was convicted last August of (according to police) allegedly inflicting multiple lacerations and bruises on the right hand, right leg and buttocks of his girlfriend's 6 year old child for 20 non-stop minutes.

The boy screamed so loud for help it caused the neighbors to call the police.

Am I making a connection between Tony and Jillian style of training? Absolutely not. Am I saying they advocated his methods? Absolutely not. Where they horrified he was a child beater? Of course. Please.

But...unleashing and promoting a hard-ass attitude in this life as the primary motivator to help people change is not, in my view, the best motivator to be rewarded or encouraged.

I see this attitude in New York City all the time. Be tough, be hard, be firm and take no prisoners. Sure, some people respond to that, but I don't think the majority of people DO. It scares people, it doesn't motivate them.

It's like pulling out a rotten tooth and leaving the festering nerve behind. Sure, the tooth is gone, but what about the nerve?

Don't get me wrong. The Biggest Loser is fantastic reality TV. A model all others contestant-driven reality shows must model themselves after.

Despite the fact it's showing its fake 'reality TV' seams too often (please, the product placement and the scripted moments are downright painful), you can't fake weight loss and the emotional stakes are engrossing.

While I can't deny she gets results, she doesn't need to be so nasty. Caring works wonders.

In this country, we feel caring and supportive behavior is weak and ineffective. We reward abrasive and caustic behavior. It's active, it has movement to it, it's something we can latch onto and it's something which plays well on TV.

I think the trick is to be a balance of the strong, diligent person and the patient, caring person. Which is why The Biggest Loser has both Bob and Jillian. Very logical.

Right, like Bob isn't gay...

Which brings me to today's blog.

The Biggest Loser is all about horribly obese people losing tremendous amounts of weight. If they don't, most will die a premature death. It's truly life or death.

None of the contestants are the 'average Joe and Jane' in American who must lose somewhere between 10-20 pounds to be in a much healthier weight bracket.

Yet I'm one of those people.

For years, I've carried around 10-20 pounds of extra weight. I've been teetering towards the extra 20 pounds as I reach my mid-40-'s.

The effects of such weight gain for a man of my age and size is not as immediately life threatening as the people on The Biggest Loser, but it IS shortening my life span and reducing the quality of my life.

I have to lose it to have a longer and better life.

I know so many people who are up to 20 pounds overweight. Some up to 40 pounds, but the magic number for most people seems to be around 20 pounds.

I have always envisioned The Food Therapist being about the effects of food and mood, but I've always wanted it to be about AFFORDABLE HEALTH.

How can the average middle-class American eat well and lose weight and not go broke in the process?

Most people who are terribly overweight are so because they eat the wrong foods which are fattening and CHEAP. Organic food is expensive. Health food is expensive.

McDonald isn't.

So I am putting my money where my mouth is. Every week, I am going to weight myself and I am going to lose the 10-20 pounds I have had around my gut for so many years.

And the way to do that is the combination of two things they always show on The Biggest Loser but they are the secret key:

• Food
• Exercise

We'll call this Biggest Loser-American Style.

I work out 6 times a week. So I know this is the tried and true 'calories in/calories out' system. I am putting in too many calories. It's that simple.

Years ago, when I taught aerobics, I knew teachers who taught all the time but couldn't get their ass to shrink down. They worked out everyday. Hard. 2 hours of 80's style aerobics. And they didn't lose weight. Why?

Food.

It all comes down to the food.

But not only the food -- the emotional process which gets in the way of us eating the wrong foods and the right foods.

I am going to make part of the focus of this blog about my own emotional journey to lose my bit of a gut by watching everything I'm eating and making smart food choices and dealing with the emotions behind these choices.

I feel bad I still have a bit of a gut. I feel like I'm fat and I hate I now wear a size 34 waist jean. I used to wear 29. I've gone up 5 sizes and I'm only in my mid-40's.

The madness must stop.

So part of this blog will by my own personal journey to lose my extra weight by creating healthier foods at home and honestly taking a look at what is in the foods I create at home.

Oprah may not be able to tame her inner demons making her eat her dreaded blue corn chips at night, but I sure as hell am going to try and tame my own.

For me...for my family...for my life.

They always say a therapist can't help the patient until they help themselves. And this is one of the few areas in my life I need to manage. Of course, it makes sense I'm trying to get a handle on my gut while I try to push a cooking show.

Life is one ironic journey, isn't it?

Mikey Bryan
Your Food Therapist

Brisket makes you happy!

Meat.

Potatoes.

Ugh (as in a caveman grunt).

I used to think I could eat meat and potatoes all day, but I've come to realize my Irish roots have resulted in my needing to eat potatoes every day but my slightly sophisticated tastes need meat well seasoned and tasty. (Andy swears by my potatoes - he says I could cook a potato blindfolded and he's right).

I'm not a fan of the meaty taste of meat. Gamey meat scares me. I've eaten it all: venison, lamb, goat, every part of the cow, ostrich, buffalo, alligator...loads of loads and loads of different red meats .

Wow. I'm salivating as I write this.

But I digress!

Meaty tasting meat scares me.

Problem is most of the tasty meat you have in restaurants is full of fat, calories, sodium and sugar. That is one of the primary reasons I cook so much at home. I control what myself and my husband put in our bodies. I know exactly what we are eating. And our energy levels and consistent health has proven to me we are doing the right thing.

If you eat right for most of the time, you feel right both physically and emotionally. Throw in 5-6 days a week of physical activity and I'm telling you, you are unstoppable.

You feel simply...here. Present. Aware.

I've written about this before, but you know that funky slump you feel around 2PM or so? Maybe 3PM? You feel a bit depressed, lethargic and plain 'down'?

You're irritable because you are not making smart choice in your diet.

It's the truth!

Our neurotransmitter production is regulated by what we eat. What the hell is a neurotransmitter?

They are brain chemicals which are made from amino acids, the building blocks of proteins.

Study after study shows if you limit the amount and types of protein, sweets or simple carbs in yoru diet, your neurotransmitters are throw off!

Which makes you wacky.

You get pissy, annoyed, short tempered (normal behavior for New Yorkers; not so normal for the rest of the world), feel up and down; manic one moment, depressed the next. It also affects your sex drive AND your sleeping patterns.

Hello?!

The most famous neurotransmitter - serotonin - drops even if you have only been dieting for three weeks! Serotonin is known as the “feel good” neurotransmitter. It allows the body and mind to stay focused and relaxed.

You can easily imagine what can happen with frequent dieting… fatigue, lack of focus, bad moods, cravings and an overall lower level of willpower.

For women, hormone imbalances or PMS can also increase one’s probability of depleting serotonin levels.

Serotonin levels can be elevated by antidepressant medications. Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft and others.

I've written this until I'm blue in the face (fingers; face?) but if the type and timing of a person’s food intake were optimized for serotonin production, can we treat depression without medication?

I know it's absurd to think we can across the board, but research has shown it is a PROBABLE.

The link between this neurotransmitter and diet is really damn obvious.

Serotonin is made from tryptophan, an amino acid, along with B vitamins.

Tryptophan is found in protein-rich foods, however, in order for it to have access to and work in the brain, a carbohydrate source is needed as well.

When serotonin levels drop too low, the body attempts to remedy the situation by increasing serotonin production. How does it do this?

The brain produces cravings for sugary, sweet refined-carbohydrate foods such as candies, cookies, jams, icing and other desserts.

Why?

This is the answer - and God, I wish it could be a mandate all New Yorkers would be forced to memorize so they'd get in a BETTER MOOD (can you tell I'm in an 'I hate mean New Yorkers mood'?):

1. Carbs increase serotonin levels on their own, without protein.

2. These carbs are highly refined. They take relatively short amounts of time for the body to digest them. Their effect on serotonin production is thus quite rapid.

3. Cravings are satisfied because these simple carbohydrate foods also tend to cause a rapid rise in blood glucose, followed by a large drop - sort of the crash and burn effect. This is due to the fact that simple sugars require little digestion to be converted to glucose, the form of energy our bodies use. A quick lift followed by the crash and burn effect can result in an ongoing cycle that doesn’t get the chance to smooth out unless food choices change.

4. To prevent this from happening, carbohydrates that are nutrient- and fiber-rich are much preferable. Known as complex carbohydrates, these carbohydrates do not cause the immediate, drastic increase in blood sugar followed by a sharp crash, thereby keeping blood sugar at a more stable, even keel over time.

This results in improved mood!

That’s why eating the right foods at the right times of the day is vitally important to feeling great and staying energized throughout the day.

Whole grains and low-sugar cereals, most fresh and frozen vegetables and fruits without added sugar, lentils, peas, beans, brown rice, oat and rice bran, seeds and nuts.

You’ll also want to include protein-laden foods for steady and consistent serotonin production...hence today's recipe:

SPICY AND HEARTY HOMEMADE BBQ SLOW-COOKER BEEF BRISKET

with

SPICY AND CREAMY COLESLAW

with

CRISPY YUKON GOLD POTATO MEDALLIONS

Managing your blood sugar will assist in maintaining adequate levels of serotonin which results in an enhanced mood and an improved sense of well-being.

This meal at will provide you with the ideal combination to take you through a large span of time feeling calm, level and aware - and it tastes DAMN GOOD.

Here we go!

Let's cook!

COOK TIME FROM START TO FINISH: 24 hours

Active physical cooking time: 1 hour

Will serve as 8 generous portions

What you'll need for the BRISKET:

• 4-5 pound FLAT CUT Beef Brisket*

Spice rub:

• 1/8 cup light brown sugar
• 1/4 cup plain, non-Hungarian paprika
• 2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
• 2 teaspoons hot chili powder
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon coriander
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons cracked pepper

• 1 bottle BULLS-EYE BBQ SAUCE, or (the preferred method), homemade BBQ Sauce.

HOMEMADE BBQ Sauce:

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
• 2 large yellow onions, chopped fine
• 5 cloves garlic, chopped fine
• 1 cup salt-free ketchup
• ½ cup water
• 4 tablespoons brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• 1 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

What'll you need for the COLESLAW:

• Dole ready-made bag of coleslaw (in the fridge section)
• 2 tablespoons low-fat mayo
• 3-5 teaspoons cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup low-fat Buttermilk, 1% milk fat
• 1 teaspoons salt
• Loads of fresh pepper

What you'll need for the YUKON POTATO MEDALLIONS:

• 5-6 medium to large Yukon gold potatoes, sliced into 1/2 rounds
• 3 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
• Pam extra-virgin olive oil spray
• 2 teaspoons salt
• Fresh cracked pepper to taste

ON BEEF BRISKET:

*I learned about Beef Brisket from my dad and his brothers. They told me the cut of meat is located in the carcass between the fore shank and the plate. The actual meat is removed and trimmed into two distinct cuts, the Flat Cut (first cut) and the Point Cut (second cut). Due to the size of the full Brisket, which may weight between 8 to 12 pounds, it is cut in half by the butcher.

The Flat Cut, which is the piece typically cut by your local butcher, is a leaner and thinner cut of meat. A full layer of fat should be present on one side of the meat surface enabling the Flat Cut to remain moist and flavorful when cooked, but the fat should only be over 1/2 of one side of the meat.

The second cut is the Point Cut, or as my Dad called it, the Deckle. Avoid this cut. It's thicker and fattier.

The fat in both cuts of Beef Brisket help to moisten the meat when the cuts are slow cooked.

Brisket is great for our leaner economic times. I bought a 5 pound piece at Whole Foods in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan and paid $4.99 a pound which is a great price, even at Whole Paycheck, er, WHOLE FOODS.

Here is what it should look like.

This side is the side with fat. See how it's a nice, thin layer over most of one side of the meat?

And here is the other side which I had the butcher cut so it's very lean.

You need fat on this meat so it tenderizes as it cooks, but to reduce fat and calories, you need only one side to have fat and only part of that one side.

The idea with tougher cuts of meat is you have to cook them longer to break down the muscle tissue and fiber. So, while Brisket is super cheap, it takes time but it DOESN'T take energy.

Here is what you do:

The night prior to putting in the slow-cooker but if all over with the spice rub (detailed above). Really massage the meat with the spices. I know, so gross, but it's so essential.

Wrap it up very, very tightly with Saran Wrap and refrigerate and put in the fridge for up to 24 hours.

What I did was wrap it up tight Saturday night @ 10PM then on Sunday morning @ 7:30AM I put it in the slow cooker. Yea, I know, my husband and I are clearly major party boys.

Put it in the slow cooker and set it on low for 10-12 hours, or, high for 5-6 hours. I personally like the taste of longer cooking, but both are fine.

After you have put the brisket in the cooker, either make the Homemade BBQ Sauce or use Bulls eye Brand BBQ (just about the best on the market).

Clearly, homemade is much better for you and has a stronger flavor, but if you simply don't have the energy or the time, I understand.

Make the Homemade Sauce by doing the following:

Heat up the oil in a 12 inch non-stick skillet

After 1 minute, add the onion and cook until clear, about 5 minutes

Add garlic, cook 30 seconds

Add the remaining ingredients and cook until thick, about 5-10 minutes

Pour the entire sauce over the brisket OR the entire bottle and cook until the meat offers very little resistance when the tines of a fork are pressed into the thickest center section.

Take the meat out of the cooker (careful; it's very heavy), put in a large casserole dish and loosely cover with aluminum foil. Now, tip the edge of the slow cooker insert up one one side so the sauce gathers on one end. Don't take the insert OUT just tip it so the sauce can gather at one end.

Let the sauce sit in the slow cooker for 10 or 15 minutes, then skim the surface of the sauce with a big spoon to remove some of the fat.

Now - stab the brisket all over with a fork and pour half of the sauce the cooker over it and then cover and let the meat sit for at least 30 minutes, preferably one hour.

Pour our the remaining sauce into a 2-cup glass measuring cup and let it sit to the side.

As the meat rests, occasionally skim the top of the thin layer of fat off of the sauce in the measuring cup until it's mostly fat free. Taste the sauce.

You WILL be amazed. YUM.

Now, as the meat is resting and allowed to soak up those amazing BBQ flavors, you can work on your coleslaw and potatoes which are an essential part of ANY brisket meal!

Get the above item - Dole's Classic Cole Slaw mix. So simple to use. It's great for all kinds of diets. I use it on tacos and burgers - but for a quick coleslaw for brisket it can't be beat.

As the brisket is resting, mix the entire bag with the mayo, the buttermilk, the salt and pepper and vinegar and taste. If you like a bit of spice, you can add up to 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper or a bit more vinegar. Adds hardly any calories.

Let the coleslaw sit and rest as you work on the potatoes.

Put your oven rack on the bottom run. Make sure it's a jelly-roll pan which can take intense heat and not warp.

Heat oven (with jelly-roll pan IN the oven) to 450 degrees.

Slice your potatoes so they are 1/2 inch wide. Very important they are the same width. Measure if you need to. No shame in measuring. Oh, I could write something nasty here but I shall refrain.

Now, this system I got from reading a newer Cooks Illustrated recipe, but, despite their audacious claim, not all of their recipes always 'work'...so I tweaked this a bit.

Put the slices potatoes in cold water in a pot over a high flame. When it reaches a boil (hint: you can make the water boil faster by covering with a lid - thank to my science hubby for this factoid!), reduce to a simmer for only five minutes.

Rinse the potatoes thoroughly and then put into a large bowl. Pour in 1 tablespoon oil and 1 tablespoon salt. Mix.

Now comes the important part. Add another tablespoon oil and another teaspoon salt and mix, mix, mix with a rubber spatula for 2 minutes until the surface of the potatoes are covered with a thin coating of 'starch'. According to CI, this will cause the potatoes to be crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside which sorta works.

'Sorta' in the sense they are not as crispy as I would have liked BUT they do end up being very, VERY good and tender on the inside...a bit bite of tender and tasty potato. it's a very clever recipe.

Carefully remove the hot baking sheet out of the oven - pour the final bit of oil on the hot pan and roll it around so the surface is coated.

Gently place the potato medallions on the baking sheet (try not to have them touch; they will brown more evenly if they are not touching) and throw in the oven for 15 minutes.

After 15 minutes, turn the pan around and check to see how they are browning. You must NOT turn them until they are super brown on the first side...very important.

After up to 15 more minutes on the first side, flip them over and crisp them for another 10 minutes or so. Put them on a paper-towel lined plate and cover with salt and pepper and serve.

As you can see, instead of a bun, we torn up a freshly baked Parisian-style Baguette with a bit of the brisket, four potato medallions and a big serving of slaw.

Yum! Perfect for the colder days of Fall!

Enjoy!

Kisses!

Mikey Bryan

Your Food Therapist!

Chill, baby, chill...STRESS MOOD FOODS for you, just you and only you...

Today everyone is go, go, go.

When I was tell people I wrote a cookbook, their eyes glaze over. "A cookbook? Uh, that's nice, Mike."

Even after I tell them it's called FOOD FOR MOOD and it's all about recipes that fit certain moods and the connection between mood and food and how it can improve relationships, I still get blank stares.

We are an emotionally disconnected culture and it's not good.

Particularly from guys in my life. And not just my straight male friends, but the gay dudes as well. A cookbook? They could care less.

Of course, that is until I make it real personal.

Me:

"Yea, okay, you could care less I wrote a cookbook. I see what this is about. You're amazing and your male ego makes you think you know everything."

Buddy:

"It's true, it's true. Thank you for acknowledging my power."

Me:

"You got that direct report meeting with your boss today, right?"

Buddy:

"She hates me. I swear she hates me."

Me:

"You're stressed."

Buddy:

"Hell, no. I'm good."

(After I give him a knowing look...)

Buddy:

"Okay, okay. I'm tense. Whatever."

Me:

"I've got something for that."

Buddy:

"Really?" (long pause) "Is it legal?"

Yea, it's called Stress Foods.

Have a major meeting coming up? Need to chill out and need more help than a 2- minute audio tape on mindfulness meditation?

Too busy last night to cook? Too uninterested? Too tired?

Need to get food fast at the deli counter or store before the meeting? Your assistant about to order and asks you what you want?

Don't order the chicken cutlet sandwich.

Ignore the same old roasted turkey sandwich on toasted whole wheat with lettuce, mustard and roasted red peppers (and baked Lays). Sound familiar?

Here is what you need to eat for STRESS FOOD FOR MOOD:

FISH

I'm not a big fish eater. I know, everyone on the planet is. I'm a meat and potatoes guy. Which confuses the hell out of everyone I meet, being the foodie (hate that word) that I am. But I've changed my tune. I eat loads more fish.

Why?Fish is full of B vitamins. Especially the famous stress fighters of B6 and B12. In fact, B12 creates the "happy" brain chemical serotonin. Get a slab of roasted salmon for lunch. Salmon contains tyrosine, an amino acid that your brain uses to make dopamine and norepinephrine neurochemicals that keep you ALERT for that all-important meeting and kiss-ass session.

Try a tuna salad or sandwich (with light mayo, of course). Grilled mackerel with a side of leafy greens and whole-grain rice. Better yet, add spinach to the meal. You get the B vitamins in the spinach and you spike up the seratonin, dopamine and norepinephrine.

And this is cool - add carrots if you want. Roasted carrots, not the buttery ones. Calories! Loads of preliminary research has shown beta-carotine may help reduce the effects of oxidative stress on the old memory.

But hear me on this - don't down the Starbucks Venti before the meeting. Strong research has shown caffeine is linked to headaches before and after stressful events. The old wives tale it takes away headaches is just that...an old wives tale.

Not a fish guy or gal? I feel your pain.

BEEF

Try some BEEF for lunch. I know, beef has fallen out of favor BUT you need to consider it for your next meal.

Beef chills you out. Seriously. Why? It's got loads of iron, B vitamins and zinc. Like, LOADS. Of course, you must eat LEAN BEEF to avoid the unhealthy saturated fat, which increases your risk of coronary heart disease and other illnesses.

Key words for beef? Look for packages with the words loin or round on them...also, tenderloin is cool, as is top round.

If you get beef for lunch, ask them what kind of cut they make in the meal. A decent place will know and they will tell yo.

A great snack too is cantaloupe and cottage cheese.

Cantaloupe is an amazing source of vitamin C, which is crucial in combating stress. We all know stress deplete vitamin C in the adrenal glands, so you must replenish when you can.

And cottage cheese is a good source of vitamins B2 and B12. Mix it up with the cantaloupe for breakfast or a midday snack will help with your feelings of anxiety...totally not kidding. It works!

A lot of people tell me they don't have time to cook or they don't have the interest. I get that, I do, I tell them. Then I tell them to get a friggin' grip. Seriously.

I agree with Jillian on The Biggest Loser (though she could be a bit nicer, geeze). You feel like crap because you eat crap.

Eat right, feel right.

You eat the right foods, watch what you put into your body and you can live the kind of life at the kind of pace you want.

And despite what some may think, the food is never only about food. That's boring. Food is always about your relationship with yourself and others in your life.

I have done my work for today. Now...got get that grilled salmon before the big meeting and chill, baby, chill...

Your Groovy Food for Mood Gay Dude...

mb